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Questing with the luckiest man alice

I’ve been playing World of Warcraft for a little over a year now; I started not long after it came out. I remember when riding over the bridges in Stranglethorn Vale threw you off your mount for no apparent reason. I remember when they took away the buggy boat between Menethil Harbor and Auberdine and you got teleported by the dockmaster (and what’s more, I liked that better than the boat. It’s faster.). I’ve been around, is what I’m saying.

And I’m here to tell you, they’ve nerfed the quests. There’s one quest in Wetlands where you have to recover a bag that a lady dropped when she was chased by some oozes (hey, if you are without weird hobbies, you may cast stones. Otherwise, play it before you point and laugh.). The first time I did this quest, it took HOURS. My friend Caradoc and I must have killed 70 or 80 oozes before the stupid bag dropped. When I did it again with my second character, it took… hours. Again. This is a grinding quest, and no question.

So how do you explain what happened last night? I was helping some lowbie friends in Wetlands, and they needed the ooze bag. Oh boy, I thought. Here we go. At least Doc was with us, in all his level 60 glory (I was playing a 32 alt), so the level 26 oozes would be no problem. We’d still have to get through dozens of them, but they’d go down fast.

Alas, I failed to factor in (a) the nerfing of quests and (b) the presence in our party of the Luckiest Man Alice. In terms of (a), all old-timers are aware that the gamers you get nowadays just don’t have the grit that we had in our day. All the quests are easier. The flight paths are more plentiful. None of this “fight your way through a bunch of mobs only to find a bugged NPC who won’t talk to you” questing anymore. In our day, back in early 2005, questing built character. Now, not so much. Anyway, Blizz has made the drop rate of the bag higher. Now you only have to kill a couple dozen oozes before it drops.

Unless, of course, you are under the influence of (b) the Luckiest Man Alice. (This is his nickname, not his character name. It’s a typo that stuck.) The guy who always finds a parking spot in San Francisco right outside the restaurant he wants to go to. Always. The guy who gets the ooze-covered quest drop after three, count ’em, three oozes. Ventrilo echoed with my and Caradoc’s outraged protests.

What happened to the good old days? No grit, I tell you. And the next time I’m grinding a quest with a lowbie alt, I want the Luckiest Man Alice in my group, dangit.

Edited to make up for WordPress’s inability to print 19 words in a row that are separated by hyphens.


  1. Gardner says:

    I have never played this game, which makes the semantic field of this post even more compelling. A strangely sublime experience. More!

  2. Brian says:

    As ever, Dr. Campbell says it faster and better than I.

    What a groovy, and utterly unique post. I was at times as disoriented as that hapless lowbie, but loved every bit of it.

  3. Shelby says:

    I was questing on my lowbie alt with my boyfriend the other day, and we got it on our first kill. I hate Digging Through The Ooze, though, still. Worst quest ever. ;)